12/16/09

Roly Poly Bug People

...I’m convinced each of us here on Earth has made that leap in consciousness.. Even the roly poly bug I watched skitter quietly across the floor of the bathroom of my Kolkata hotel room, a few years ago had made that crossing. In India it was morning. In my body, it was the middle of the night. When I got up I looked through the window. I could see women across the way squatting and doing the laundry in the river, as their families swirled around them. I was delighted to see this little fellow join me in that corner of the world as I sat on the toilet. I spoke to him with my mind. I’ve always felt close to these roly poly people with their segmented, armored bodies and the ability to roll into a perfect ball when threatened. I first met them when I was a child in Oklahoma and dug in the dirt for the sheer joy of the smell of earth. They were often with me when I watched sunrise outside alone in the early warm mornings of summer. And now here in a place far away from Oklahoma, I felt properly greeted by them. As he walked away to have his breakfast, he gifted me with the vision of the light of his spirit: an exquisite glow surrounding his dignified body...

Excerpt from my memoir in progress c Joy Harjo 2009

12/11/09

Wordplay: from the Washington Post. Thanks to my friend, the poet William Pitt Root, for passing this on. Enjoy!!

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.
The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), a condition in which you absentmindedly answer
the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:


1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. ( that one got extra credit)

9. Karmageddon (n): Its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

12/10/09

N.Scott Momaday in Need of Assistance

Dear Readers:

Please disregard the previous message regarding the beloved writer N.Scott Momaday.

The solicitation request did not have the approval of Momaday or his family.

Do not mail any money to Coming Home Connection.

Thanks.

Joy